Written in Stone, Part Two

("To save one is to save the world")

My husband is a charmingly confident man. One of his better qualities is that he doesn't really care all that much what other people think. Even as a child, peer pressure was an almost foreign concept to him.

Its funny/odd that he married me, who had elevated the evaluation (and occassional manipulation) of other people's perceptions to an art form (motivated by my own insecurity and a healthy sense of self-preservation, but that is neither here nor there). I'm a totally different person now. A better person. Because of him. Think of me as an antique, covered in layers and layers of horridly nasty paint and stored in the garage. He kept refinishing until the paint was gone, and now he doesn't let ANYONE put paint on his antique. Definitely, one world saved.

Another funny/odd thing is that he doesn't see it. He doesn't see himself through other's eyes very well. The upside is that he doesn't give credance to any detracters trying to pull him down. The downside is that he doesn't see the complete adoration and gratitude from the "worlds" that he saves. Its a good thing he married me (for both of us) because I can understand, and I'm not shy about explaining things.

Case in point -- Rae. [edit] Definitely, two worlds saved.

I read an interesting book a few years ago (Nightlight by Dobson), and it brought up a few questions that spouses don't ask each other (generally assuming the answers). One that stands out in my mind is: "What are you most proud of about your spouse in his/her career?" My husband thought it would be that he had achieved a corporate position of no small power at a record-setting young age, or that he had created and guided a truly visionary product. Sure, I was proud of him for those things. But, the thing that captured my attention is that he is nice to people that work for him.

Maybe it was a small thing to bring everyone in the secretarial pool chocolate when he went to Belgium on business, but it was a small thing no one else did. Maybe it was a small thing to send a fax at quitting time himself instead of expecting the secretary to stay an hour late on a night he knew she wanted to leave a few minutes early. He might not have saved their worlds, but he definitely saved their days on a regular basis :)

Still, this post is about changing lives and saving worlds. On to the big things he did for the people that worked for him. In particular, one woman comes to mind. She was his assistant for awhile, a very good extra-competent assistant (like all his other assistants). A position came open that would have meant an indepentent managerial position for her, basically doing a job similiar to the particular responsibillities he gave her. He suggested she apply for it, and he would be glad to put in a great word for her. She told him she couldn't, because she didn't have the degree. And she couldn't get the degree because her job and family-life sucked up all her time and energy. But, my husband is a clever man who is NOT to be thwarted. He called her in to his office a few days later with a plan. She could go to school part-time, he would authorize the corporate education-reimbursement, and they could work it out so that her school-work and job-work overlapped. So, instead of leaving her trapped in an assistant position forever, he dragged her onto the management-ladder. A better career (along with the better money and job-security and respect) can do a lot to change a person's life. And, its not just about improving the situation. He gave her hope when she thought her situation was hopeless, he showed her the best side of human nature (to help people) instead of the worst side (to use people). He made her see that she was WORTH helping. Dear sweet man! He has such a hard time understanding what its like to feel worthless and suddenly have someone with credibility show you that you're valuable. Definitely, one more world saved!

My husband, the hero.


I love *my husband the hero* posts! Thanks...

Julie | 08/22/2004 - 06:32 AM

Sounds like you're a lucky lady :)

Sheilah | 08/22/2004 - 07:59 AM

Crazy, who posts on my site, met my husband for the first time this weekend. He said to me, "Tammy, you and your husband really compliment each other. I see it clearly now after having met him. He goes to work methodically every day while you tend to the house and the kids. You're more flashy but he is definitely the pillar behind it all." I thought it was an interesting, and oh so true, evaluation. Thank God for our wonderful husbands.

tammy | 08/23/2004 - 06:28 AM
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