When Squirrels Attack

I was stumbling down the hallway toward the bedroom after an exhausting day when it happened. Two wildly rabid squirrels raced around the corner toward my ankles. I did exactly what any normal person would do. Jumped, screamed, fell against the wall with a VERY loud thump as I tried to lift BOTH feet off the ground at the same time, followed by expletives. Well, at least one expletive. This was the kind of situation that will, sure enough, wake every single person in the house with a surge of panic and adrenaline.

Personally, I think my behavior was perfectly rational. On the other hand, my husband thought I had lost my mind. I suspect his opinion was hinged on the fact that there were no squirrels, rabid or otherwise, in the hallway.

He had been reading on the bed when he decided that his feet would be happier without socks. So, he took off the socks. Hmmmm, he must have thought. What to do with the socks? He's an incredibly talented man who managed to throw them out the bedroom door so that they ricocheted down the hallway to the bathroom door, which is the first step in getting things into the dirty-clothes pile in the bathroom. At least he had a plan. His plan did NOT include his half-blind and imaginative wife walking into his line of fire. It certainly did NOT include the ensueing chaos as all the children were jerked awake by the half-blind and imaginative wife having fits right outside their bedroom doors.

The next day, I bumped into a friend (and her husband) at the library. After hearing the story, my friend laughed until she cried and agreed that it was ALL my husband's fault. Her husband just looked perplexed. He said something like "I don't get it". I tried to explain it to him slowly, in small words. "I mistakenly thought the socks were rabid squirrels because I was tired and didn't have my glasses." He just looked at me. "Of course I understand that part. What I wonder is why you assumed they were rabid squirrels, instead of normal squirrels?"

Now I wonder about that, too.


That is hilarious! Yeh, where did you even get the time to think "rabid"? ROFL!

tammy | 09/15/2004 - 01:56 AM

Rabid squirrel's heh? That remodeling is really getting to you Lucy! :)

strail | 09/15/2004 - 02:32 AM

Wait until I post about Attack Of The Albino Turkeys!

Lucy | 09/15/2004 - 02:05 PM

I think we found out what's causing these squirrel attacks: They're on crack! At least according to The Sun (London). We just shoot them in Atlanta.

Scott | 11/01/2006 - 01:28 AM

Oops. I had two pages open and posted in the wrong one--sorry. Don't shoot your husband's socks. ;-)

Scott | 11/01/2006 - 01:32 AM

Seth Gordon’s resume because director has been an interesting one; ranging out of the enjoyable Fistful of Quarters to that the weak-weak Four Christmases.

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