Hopped Up On Ginger

This post will be the rantings of a woman hopped-up on candied ginger. I've accepted that. You should too.

Lets start with ... pergolas. Pergolas and arbors. Ewwwww! Especially the ones covered in vines (aka "snake camo"). Every time I see one all I can imagine is the snakes lurking above the heads of unsuspecting revelers, waiting for the perfect moment to drop from above to bring sure chaos. Because let me assure you, if indeed a snake drops from above on me chaos will definitely be following in short order. It happened to me once as a child, doing nothing to diminish my fear of snakes. Interesting bit of weird trivia: copperheads smell like cucumbers. If you're outside at night and suddenly smell strong cucumbers, move quickly but extremely carefully away from the area.

I also don't understand gardens that insist on placing benches and chairs in a virtual nest of undergrowth and/or overgrowth. Sure, it looks "natural" and "provencal" to your garden designer. But practically, all I see are Ticks. And Snakes. And Spiders. All within inches of my person, especially my hair where I won't feel them crawling until its too late. I don't find that particularly restful.

Potpourri. Dead flowers. Often with fake scent. Collecting dust. How do you clean potpourri!?! Just condo's for dust mites. Plus the ugly dead color. There is no redeeming value for potpourri. Do I make this announcement in houses where the owner has covered every available surface with bowls of potpourri? No. Some of my best friends are potpourri afficiandos. I've even given them potpourri gifts, because it makes them very very happy and thats the point of gift-giving. However, the reality is that potpourri is just ugly dead flowers, gathering dust while exuding weird chemical "floral" smells.

Lavender. I detest lavender. Everyone and their cousin is telling me now that lavender is restful and relaxing, things I need. However, I think lavender smells hideous. Smelling it makes me want to ... do bad things. Which is neither restful nor relaxing. On a bright note: lavender looks lovely in the field across the hillside across the valley from my grandparents kitchen window. A whole field of it, downwind of the house! Thats the way to enjoy lavender!

Vanilla infused vitamins! What!?! My prenatal vitamins were infused with a fake vanilla scent meant to make them easier to get down. Except that I developed a pregnancy-aversion to fake vanilla. Just thinking about the vitamins makes me queasy. Why do people think that making a bad synthetic version of something thats naturally great will be equivelant? People, its NOT the same.

I'm also tired of defending my choice (MY choice) to buy organic milk, from cows that are free of hormones and antibiotics, fed only stuff with no animal-by-products in it. Friends look at me like I've turned into a liberal tree-hugging-hippie. Not that there's anything wrong with liberal tree-hugging-hippies. Thanks to them and their social impact, I've at least got the choice even here in the rural mid-west. For those of you that still believe the FDA when they tell you there's nothing in your "regular" milk that shouldn't be there: What goes in, comes out. I can attest to this first hand after an unfortunate incident involving breast-feeding and extra-spicy-Kung-pao-chicken. If the cows producing your milk are taking antibiotics and growth-hormones ... its going to be in the milk.

Ummm. Milk. Milk and cookies. Done ranting, going in search of milk-n-cookies.

Update: Yea! I got a comment ...

Lucy, you crack me up. Truly you do! I started reading your hopped up on ginger post, and laughed all the way through it. You and I ought to have tea sometime, I think we'd get along famously!

I have this beautiful lattic, and my favorite flowers are Morning Glories. My dh wants to plant some for me SO badly. However, then I will lose the use of my breezeway, because there will be bees everywhere, and I HATE bees. With a passion. So I get the whole snake thing.

I just cracked up at the vanilla vitamins too. What in the world makes them think that vanilla will make those disgusting things taste better? Now, if you coated them in real vanilla yogurt, maybe. Hmm...there's a thought.

Enjoy your milk and cookies.


Make Waves

Remember personal info?

Please enter the security code you see here

Note in a Bottle
Email this entry to:

Your email address:

Message (optional):