Lucy, Percieved To Be In Danger Of Divorce

Out of the blue, Ron announced a few days ago that he hopes he doesn't get divorced when he grows up. I reassured him that he probably wouldn't, that it would depend on himself and who he married. He pointed out that he better marry someone that complains not as much as I do! I asked what in the world he was talking about, and he replied that I complain about the new house every day. (A few months ago we talked about how there was no need for him to worry about us getting divorced because we don't fight all day every day like Jimmy's parents.)

Let me point out, he has NO concept of actual whiny complaining personal fighting. He actually can not imagine the fighting that happens at Jim's house. It is beyond his concept of reality that parents would call each other names, and say really bad bad bad things about each other. Thats good, that he's clueless. Its bad, that he thinks we might be on the brink because we discuss and disagree about the house almost every day (often while really laughing, and sometimes while making jokes because you either laugh or start crying). Its good that he gets to see us disagree and compromise and get through it like normal people, this will serve him well in later years. Its bad that he worries. Its good that he tells me he worries, so I can reassure him.

I found out that the only other boy in his class is about to have a divorce. His mother just left the family last week, for no apparent reason (post-partum depression?) and the boy is a little freaked.

We continued the discussion with a focus on the right kind of girl to marry. Yes, I know he's only 7 yrs old, but he brought it up. He's decided that its important to marry a girl about your size. I think he means age, but I didn't push it. I countered with, the most important thing is to marry a girl that is nice both to you and others. He suggested that Hannah is nice, but that he will meet lots and lots of girls in his life. We decided that was a VERY good way to approach girls. He can afford to be a little choosey.


LOL because we have been there with our sons. We disagree and they freak. I thought it was because of their early childhood trauma before we adopted them, but now I realize that security is such a deep-seated need in children. I ache for the little boy in your son's class.

Also the boys were just a little older than your son when my husband first said to them, "Keep your pants zipped." They didn't understand then but they do now. We wanted this message to be ingrained before their hormones started raging.

Earth Girl | 08/18/2005 - 04:17 PM

Your son is NOT too young to be discussing these things if he's asking questions about them. Don't worry.

My parents started very early with my sister and I -- because they wanted to be sure that they were the ones that answered our questions, and we didn't go to others. And always in context like you did. And we did fine.

You're doing a good job.

My Boaz's Ruth | 09/05/2005 - 03:24 PM

I think that Addison will have the most pictures in the world of helesrf as a baby. How fun. Now you know that your first is so easy to photograph and have lots of pictures. The key is to keep it up with proceeding children and keeping up the pattern of lots of pictures at each stage. Aaron got his trip all set up for April. I know he is excited to see his niece. Aaron loves to hold little girls and is excited to see baby Addison!

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