Just Plain Wrong

I've been getting in the mind-set to finish off the Christmas planning, usually done by cruising various web-sites and perusing assorted catalogs. Fortunately, I'm on practically every mailing list EVER! Some people abhor junk-catalogs. Me? I embrace them as portals to other worlds. Places I would certainly never seek out on my own, but if they turn up in my mail-box ...

Some of the things I'm seeing in these catalogs just strike me as plain wrong. Not wrong in a weird way that could get you arrested, because I'm not on THOSE kind of mailling lists. Wrong in the sense of "that makes NO sense what-so-ever" ... which has lead me to wonder if I'm somehow on a list for clueless people and just didn't know it. Here we go, the ones that come to mind ...

(1) The pet-stroller. Like a stroller for babies, but designed with a pet-friendly shape so they have a comfortable seat while their owners push them around. Because, you know, dogs can't walk.

(2) Every single Red-Hat-Purple-Wearing-Lady assessory. People! You DO know the poem is about independence and freedom from social conformity, right? RIGHT? This side of the Army, is there anything more formally conformist than a group of ladies at a tea-party in mandatory color-cordinated hats? Yes, I know its a great poem. With a great message. Embrace the message! Eschew literalism! Wear green-n-yellow!

(3a) Stretch jeans in size 6x. What!?! Who WHO thought THAT was a good idea? Unless you are a size 2 and a rodeo queen, you have no business wearing "stretch jeans". Perhaps you might think I'm going out of my way to insult those of you who practically live in your stretch jeans. No. I care about you. I care enough to tell you to STOP IT!

(3b) If the artical of clothing looks weird and unattractive on the model, what makes them think we'll be fooled into thinking "Oh! I'm way more attractive than a model! I bet I could make that work!"

(4) The remote controlled "Farting Teddy-bear". Need I say more? Ick. Except, this is a good segque for ...

(5) Pooping decorations. You know the ones I mean. It looks like a normal tabletop figurine. Until you push its head and jelly-beans drop out of its bottom! Yes, I like candy. Yes, I like cute reindeer figurines as much as the next girl. No, I do NOT want to eat faked reindeer poop even if its really jelly-beans. I just don't. Its just plain wrong.


I have been meeting with girlfriends once a month since 1978 (Group is our name), so we are the right age for a Red Hat Club. We talked about the Red Hats one night several years ago and one women said, "What a great idea, but let's wear whatever we want." And that was that!

Earth Girl | 10/21/2006 - 05:01 PM

LOL! That is SO ... just ... perfect! See, everyone, now THAT'S a group that gets it!

Lucy | 10/22/2006 - 03:23 AM
Make Waves

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