I was an extraordinarily polite and well-behaved child. Everyone says so. My aunt, an English professor who lived next door, had no qualms about taking me places with her. I remember the first time we went to the "big" library after her class. I was about eight. I remember the first time we went to the theatre, to see Romeo and Juliet modernized as a motorcyle-gang conflict. I was about ten. I remember the first time we went to see a movie with sub-titles, "Fanny and Alexsander". I was about twelve.

I was lucky. You name it, we did it. I will remember forever the day she mentioned casually at dinner, "A friend of mine has tickets for Baryshnikov in Atlanta next month. I could take a day off if Lucy wants to go?" She took great delight in taking me delightful places. She also made THE most delightful Christmas cookies (which I'll make too, this year, having unearthed her cookie-press and recipes during the move) So you think I would have recognized something on the movie-jacket when I picked up the movie at Blockbuster yesterday ... No, I didn't. It is my firm contention that they intentionally TRICKED me!

I would definitely have recognized a foreign-film if it were right there in my hand. Yep. I would have. Really.

You know I've been watching a lot of movies lately to help with "Lucy's Little Project". In fact, I've been working my way around the outer-wall at Blockbuster. Starting on the left and going alphabetically. I'm up the to "K". And so it was that I rented "Killing Ground", a movie about gangs starring Armand Assante as the police trying to un-tangle the gang conflict from a serial killer. Yes, it seems like a rather dark movie. But it has Armond Assante in it. He's a decentish actor (ie: he doesn't make me flinch often) While the movie "reads" dark, you're almost guarenteed a happy ending. And we know, Lucy is ALL about the happy ending!

What I DIDN'T know, and what they purposefully withheld from me, is that the movie is both set and filmed in BULGARIA! With Bulgarian actors. Yes, it was filmed in English, not that it helps all that much as the characters all have BULGARIAN names. Except for the Turks. They had TURKISH names! It was surreal. It was a wannabe "tough and gritty" movie. It failed miserabley. Admittedly, I'm not sure it failed because of the "foreign-ness" of the film. That was startleling but almost charming. I'm pretty sure it failed because of the complete idiocy of casting, and maybe set-management.

There were several plots going along at the same time. Brothers. Friends. Drug-dealers having a mid-life crisis and becoming cops. Most of those plots revolved around the relationship between Armand Assante's character and two other characters. The three of them were supposed to have been best-friends growing up. The problem being that Armand Assante has EASILY got to be 60-65 years old. And the other two actors were, maybe, 30. And all the characters were supposed to be about 30. Even the VERY best actor would have trouble playing 30 when he's really 65, especially standing next to two real 30-year-olds. To confuse things even more, I'm pretty sure one of those other two actors is British-pretending-to-be-Turkish-but-not-very-well.

The set was definitely ... weird. Even for foreign films. Lots of the activity takes place in a small side-walk cafe. Except that its located in the middle of a field. The final "rumble" between gangs involved 100+ people walking into a small empty disco. Intentionally carrying guns. "You're here? Ok. We're here. You got enough ammo? Us too. Let's do this" and EVERYONE starts shooting. While standing in the open. Somehow only four die!?! I don't think there's much gun-experience in Bulgaria ...

I was DEFINITELY tricked. Very very TRICKED into renting this movie. On the other hand, it did keep my attention away from the kitchen :)


That's about how I felt when, years ago, we rented Nothing But Trouble. We were sick, looking for some comedy, a little pick me up. Tons of well known actors. It was bad. So bad. Like burn-the-original-so-no-one-ever-knows-we-made-this-movie bad.


Leni | 08/07/2007 - 03:24 PM
Make Waves

Remember personal info?

Please enter the security code you see here

Note in a Bottle
Email this entry to:

Your email address:

Message (optional):