December 20, 2007
All I Want For Christmas

No matter what I get for Christmas, it's going to be OK. I can get crazy-weird-bizarre-useless gifts from absolutely everyone (shout out here to warn people about the evil that is Olay body shower bath ribbons -- just don't go there) and I won't care even the teensiest bit. BECAUSE ...

I have aquired THE most fabulous cake-pan in the world. The Petit tea-cake and candy mold pan from NordicWare! I saw it and wanted it SO badly. I saved my pennies. I went to order it. Gone. GONE! Went to Williams-Sonoma. GONE! Did wild and frantic internet searching. Gone GONE gone! Opened a random and otherwise yucky over-priced catalog last week and there it was! Not even crazy over-priced!

I got my hands on it last night. It is the most exquisite pan on earth. Perfect little tea-cakes, ready for the translucent glaze, in TEN different designs. The pan makes 30 little cakes at a time! Eeeeheeeeheeee! I am so excited because this absolutely MAKES the tea-party upcoming for Cassie. You know what I mean? This is the element that pushes it over the top to legendary. I know its ridiculous, but I have a deep inner peace now. So not kidding. One whole event I can mark off the list as seriously prepped.

I'm not one of those people that think God is in charge of every parking space they get. However, I AM one of those people that think God can use the rare parking-space-moment for his will. And I'm thinking that perhaps he had a hand in that cake-pan finding its way to me. Who knows exactly what message I'm supposed to get from a cake-pan, THE cake-pan in particular?

Maybe he's saying that he knows I've been under crazy-stress lately, that small normal events have been eating me alive. Maybe this cake-pan is his way of giving me concrete example of "Don't worry about this one, I've got your back". Maybe he just wanted to see me cry for joy. Maybe he knows things are going to get bad quick, and I'll need something concrete to hold in my hands because I have no faith. (I believe, Help my disbelief) Maybe its not about me at all! Maybe he knows I'll use it to make attractive little tea-cakes for someone else. Maybe a hundred years from now, he knows my great-granddaughter will need it to make my great-great-granddaughter tea-cakes for Christmas! Maybe ... maybe ... There's no telling.

I suspect that there are miracles all around us all the time. Some small. Some big. That we can't see. That we don't see. That we won't see. I wonder about those. I cringe at the thought that I've been ungrateful for extraordinary miracles, taking them for granted, passing them by without another thought. Not seeing them. Too full of busy-ness and arrogance.

I know there are the big "obvious" miracles. The ones that are showy and spectacular and make people pale and giddy all at the same time. The night of Aaron's accident, multiple events of December 13th 1997, the eighteen wheeler that ran a stop sign and punched the mini-van across four lanes of traffic, that nurse at Sparrow, Lopa Kedar, Tom Shaner.

I just wonder how many of the medium "kinda obvious if you think about it" and how many of the small "not so obvious at all" miracles I'm missing!?!

I've Almost Forgotten How To Blog!

I've almost forgotten how to blog, but not quite. We'll see how long I have internet access for this time!