March 05, 2012
Not The Easy Thing

Yesterday I had a brilliant parenting moment! Totally by accident. And I just know that I'll forget it, AND its definitely worth repeating for every child I have.

I was driving home from grocery shopping with Cassie (my oldest girl -- age 10) and she mentioned the boy she has a crush on. As it turns out, i've known for awhile. His brother and one of my boys are friends, they live near us, so they're around sometimes. Perfectly pleasent children! An absolute joy to be around. Charming, smart, handsome. They are always welcome in our house. I can't stress how NICE they are!

But, a few weeks ago, I started taking notice that while this particular boy is great about not doing "wrong" things, he has some real challenges doing "right" things when they involve conflict of any kind. It goes beyond not liking conflict. I know a few things at school have REALLY bothered him, but he said nothing. He did nothing.

I feel bad for him. He must have a LOT of stress. And he has a good heart, which is a rare and precious thing. But, that flaw ...

How big is "too big" for a character flaw? How early is "too early" to look for one?

I mentioned to her "what if ... what if ... you were in trouble, would he say anything?" She looked at me a little odd, making me wonder if I had hit a nerve. And she agreed with me! He wasn't someone you could count on if things got bad, although he's lots of fun when things are good.

Children heed repitition. I've got to remember: "Look for the person who does the right thing, not the easy thing!"

(Next time: Don't date what you won't marry.)