Cookout In A Crop-circle

I've decided that the total success of the Christmas Party can not be fully appreciated without a more detailed example of past gatherings. Before I realized these crazed mid-westerners needed some loving help.

The most recent example of a Sunday School gathering was perpetrated by our teacher. He's SO optimistic. He decided to have an autumn cook-out. Not a bad idea in and of itself. The execution was ... different.

First, he needed a bon-fire to cook the hot-dogs and roast marshmellows. So he mowed a path through a meadow near his house past a pond into the bramble. This way the black spot from the fire wouldn't be in his wife's manicured lawn. Good idea in theory, but not in execution. Envision brambles and weeds easily two feet tall. Evision a dark murky scum-covered pond undulating with ripples as one of the children sure enough did indeed fall in. Evision a crop-circle only about twenty feet wide, and a bonfire about ten feet wide.

For those bad at math, that leaves five feet around the fire which was SO hot that you were practically forced into the weeds. Your hot dog was most likely burned and cold in the center because the fire was too high. Then, there was nothing to go on the hot dog. Except ketchup if you could find it on the table in the weeds. And, yes, the kids had found a snake-skin and frogs (which made me glad for our rule which is "Do NOT touch any wildlife of any kind at any church gatherings" stemming from the pet-the-frog incident at the potluck) so who knows what was in the weeds!

Generally, the women avoided the issue by clustering along the narrow path like cranky sheep as we frantically tried to keep track of our children in the pitch-black area.

I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel when he announced it was time for the hay-rides! Really, it was a train in the tunnel about to run over me.

His idea of a good hayride was to fill his pick-up with hay bales, and attach a small garden trailer also filled with haybales. Then, load up people and drive along back country roads approaching the speedlimit for about 30 minutes! I spent the whole time bunkered down between bales desperately holding on to my children and trying to figure out how I ended up in this situation, hoping and praying (literally) that we all get home safe-n-sound.

It is NOT the sign of a good get-together when you go home thinking "Thank. Goodness. Thats. Over!" I suppose I didn't have to throw a great Christmas party. Even a normal-average one would have been such an improvement that minds still would have boggled. Actually, even an average-bad one would have been a relief to these people. Afterall, they're used to having cookouts in small weird crop-circles in the dark.


Lordy Lucy, you had me laughing so much and I am glad Major Pips (formerly, Pipsqueak, then Mr. Pips when he was two years old. I was in the hospital for four days about two wks. ago and came home to my Pips and he was so adorable when I came in the door. There he goes rolling around on his back and happy as a cat that caught a Lark. He did a Major Job taking care of me when I got home and was so tired, Hence: Major Pips).
I was glad the Major was not sitting in my lap along with my laptop or the kid would have flown off my lap once again from laughing at the party you attended.

Oh golly it sounded fun, scarey, and what an imagination that fella had! I loved the hayride too. I remember hayrides with fondness because growing up in El Paso, Texas every Spring and Summer my brother, sister and meself got to go on a hayride.

That is funny what happened while cooking. I'm sure you ladies were a bit concerned but I know you are laughing about it all now!

Thanks for being good ole' lil' funny Lucy! Thanks too for your continued support of me kid Dean. He is really getting quite witty and under his post today about the movie on Iraq, well, his Ma's heart poured out with pride. I saw King of Fools there as well.

Remember Dear Lucy this Gal loves and adores you and your family. I've been working on a song Dean inspired to me when he wrote back in an e-mail a couple of night ago. He had been lax but I think when I got mad and left a few weeks it gave him time to ponder and I see the good ole' kid back respecting us christians. I do have to agree with him about Jerry Falwell, too bad his last time doesn't fit his words at times because they surely don't fall well on christians all around this country. I agree with Dean on him and Al Sharpton.

It's getting late and i wanted to stop by sweetheart.

Loves Ya and Blessings A Bounty Full!
Janelle and of course, Giggle giggle
this story you shared is a classic I tell ya!

Janelle | 12/10/2004 - 07:31 AM

The post I was talking about that showed a movie of the good work in Iraq...

Rather you are for...Or Against earlier today.

I went off subject but I needed to remind Dean how many blessings he had and to let Rosemary know she was dearly loved. It had been hanging around my heart and after a nice e-mail Dean inspired a song I am writing for him called, "The Role Reversal Dance" I am in hope of going into a studio to redo an original song as well as other christian songs I wrote and will include the Role Reversal.
You will find honey when your boys are older, that role reversal dance is when your child becomes your grown up help mate and when you are down, welll...the dance begins until you can dance on your own once again.

Take care Precious!

Janelle | 12/10/2004 - 07:46 AM

LOL What a hoot! I'm not sure when you started reading me, but I've posted quite often on our cookouts and this guy broke every rule in our book. First, there are cook fires, camp fires and bonfires - each for a different purpose. Honest, Lucy, it's a lot of fun when done right. I remember a similar hayride from years ago - with horror because the driver had been drinking.

Earth Girl | 12/15/2004 - 04:02 AM

Lordy Janelle, why I wasa just 'a readin' that ol' multiple personality gringoman, remarkin' to the Joe Gandelman, about 'ol Major Pips a fallin' off of his own lap, he wasa laffin' so hard, bout Joes article 'an all.
Ida swear Janelle honey, you got some gringoman in you, wit dat dang cat 'o yers.
So ifa you search 'major pips' online you can 'a see yourselves. You, and you too.

gringospy | 12/30/2004 - 08:09 PM

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