How To Negotiate With A Pregnant Woman

Start off slowly. For example, "Are you REALLY sure you want white fixtures in the guest bath with the white-ish tile? Maybe another color. Maybe ANY other color. I really think another color would look better. How about blue? Or green? Or anything thats not white?"

At this point the seeds of doubt are planted. Admittedly, quickly rooted up by the pregnant woman determined to have white fixtures. Because the white-on-white tile will look lovely with white fixtures. But ... she senses you're starting to focus on "her" attractive guest-bath. This makes her nervous, and twitchy. She offers up the other smaller guest-bath with ivory tile. If white upsets you this much, she can live with ivory fixtures to match the ivory tile.

Thus, the wedge is in place. She's thinking that ivory isn't so bad. She's thinking that she wants you to be happy. She's thinking that at least "her" guest-bath is safe! All is well with the world. This is the time to mention that one of your fond memories from childhood is visiting your grandparents because they had the coolest bathrooms. The only house you knew with fantastically colored fixtures that matched the tiles.

She'll start to crack. Afterall, she does absolutely adore your grandfather (mostly because he's so very very much like you). Casually mention that the kids ocean-theme bath would look so great with the blue tub. Do this while sitting in front of the computer looking at the Kohler site. Make sure she has a comfy chair. Let her have some of your bowl of chocolate ice-cream. She'll be so content that she won't even wonder why you're eating a bowl of her favorite flavor instead of your favorite which is also in the freezer, at least until the next day when she's blogging it.

Suddenly, she sees the joy in a matching blue sink-toilet-tub set! Don't give up, you're in the home stretch! The seafoam green would look so great with the ivory travertine tile! Yes, YES! Let's change the ivory to GREEN! Oh, what a pretty pale sunshiney yellow. Where can we put it!?! Aieeeeeee! There's no place to put the yellow!

At this point you should step back, satisfied with astounding progress in moving a pregnant woman from Point A (Only white, and I mean it) to Point B (I WILL find a way to fit in that yellow)

For those of you that live on the edge, always pushing the envelope, prepare for the adrenaline rush of going for primary colors (aka "crayola" colors).

Suggest that the pastel-yellow could go in Lee's bath. She will flinch and point out that would clash SO badly with the bright orange accent tiles in the otherwise white tile around the tub. You should mention how great it would look if the sink-tub-toilet were also bright orange. Her mind will refuse to process the image. Sigh as you click all the color options at the Kohler site, noting with disappointment that there are no bright oranges. Casually google for orange tubs. You won't be finding any, by the way.

She will already be focused on "color matching is good" and "he wants it" and "I will never be in that bathroom" and "color matching is good". Her wheels will be spinning. Wait patiently. Look sad and resigned. She will actually suggest the shocking possibility of buying white fixtures and having them resurfaced/refinished in bright orange!

Perhaps you should ensure that she realizes the win-win nature of all truly successful negotiations by bringing her chocolate, preferably some in a little gold box from Vincent's with a few "distraction" pieces to keep the children from "sharing" her chocolate down to nothing. Just a thought.


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