Today I felt ... French. Not in a bad way, exactly. Just odd. Usually, I am the opposite of French. I am neither stylishly petite nor sophicatedly passive (and I absolutely abhor bones in my food!). Today was the shocking culmination of a gradual process.

It started with light sunblock. Then I realized that people here in the desserty area of Colorado have "old" hands. And my neighbor pointed out that HER hands/arms have aged differently because she spends so much time in the car driving. Gah!!! I have enough issues without having aged-crones-claws a minute earlier than absolutely necessary. I also realized I have beige isotoner gloves. I don't CARE if its 80 degrees, that why I have air-conditioning in the car. That was enough, in the beginning. Then it occurred to me that I have the perfect long-sleeved linen over-shirt to protect my arms. Once again, air-conditioning is a key part of my plan. And sunglasses.

And better sunblock, which deserves its own paragraph. Over the past ten days, I've been watching what I eat (yes, there's a point about sunblock) and therefore needed something to ... distract ... me. Thus, the quest for the perfect sunblock.

The non-wrinklely locals all use sunblocks with obscene SPF numbers. I started at 45, and quickly escalated to 110. Seriously. They actually make 110. And I own it. In two forms. Each day I tried a different brand or format. Each promising to be gentle on my face and eyes. (They all lie about the eyes, by the way). Lotions, gels, sprays, mists, baby, sports, anti-aging, extra-moisturizing, water-proof, not-water-proof, organic, chemical-laden. It seems like there are a million different kinds. It seems like I have tried them all.

At first, the only one that noticed was my husband. "Do you feel ok? Maybe you should lie down. You look a little ... white." Nope for that particular sunblock. There's a difference between healthy-pale and actually literally white-ish. The next one grabbed that attention of the children, when Lee asked me at the dinner table "Hey, mom, why are you all ... shiny?" While that one of the better ones, the family discussed it and agreed that I looked like I was a vegetable that had been dipped in WAX. Not a look that I'm going for. After LOTS of tries, for average everyday use, I've settled on JASON sunbrella 85 lotion. Even though it smells like "fake banana". Better than "fake watermelon", worse than Chanel.

So. There I was heading into the garage this morning. Sunblock. Sunglasses. Gloves. Linen shirt. Emu-oil lipbalm. "Chic" up-do only because I was in a hurry. And THEN it happened. I realized I was actually carrying a reusable bag to the market. Did you hear me? I used the word "market" in my head.

All I need now is a floppy-brimmed hat. Don't laugh, I've got my eye on one. Seriously.