He Said WHAT?

Lots of posts squished into one. Because my husband says lots of things that grab my attention. Some of which are even fit to post on a family-friendly-site. For example, ...

(1) On vacation, Cassie was entertaining herself with "accessorizing" her Krypto-The-Superdog action-figure. It involved him wearing a lot of her bracelets as dog-collars. She was singing along to herself "Krypto! The Superdog! He's super! In every way! Krypto! The Superdog!" Its a very emphatic very repetitive theme song. After a few hundred miles she did a little altering. It changed to Pigto-the-superpig. Then we passed through Bovina, Kansas. Suddenly my husband leaned close to me and lowered his voice to sing "Cowto! The Super-Cow!" I thought I would come unglued, right there in the car. Mommy gasping hysterically usually gets their attention. So, Daddy had to explain about "Cowto" to Cassie who looked at him and said "Cowto isn't real". I didn't ask her about Pigto.

(2) Last month, my husband had one particularly gloomy day. Knowing he needed a treat, I quickly assessed the available resources. I decided I could kill two birds with one stone by giving him the CD I bought him for Christmas next year. He could be enjoying the music and I could quit worrying he'd buy it for himself sometime in the next ten months. He's conciously trying to listen to more "christian" music, or classical. Less pop and country. As soon as I saw the CD, I thought how much he'd love it. How different it was from the other CD's. So, yes, I bought him Bagpipe Hymns! He just looked at it when I handed it to him. I explained I thought he needed a little treat. He looked at me blankly. I explained he had mentioned he was listening to less secular music. He looked at me blankly. I explained I was afraid he'd buy it for himself before next Christmas. He almost fell down laughing. He said "Now, THAT is certainly not on the list of stuff I'd buy myself!" followed by more gasping laughter. I tried to give him the grim-look-of-death. He only laughed harder. Which made me laugh. I've got to practice that whole look-of-death thing.

(3) My uncle is dieing. That's not the funny part, but it is relevant. He's very ill, and has been for a long time. Now, the end is close. I don't really see how I can make it home for the funeral. Yes, I want to go. Yes, I should go. No, I don't think the logistics of actually going are reasonable. So, I've decided to embrace an alternative. I'm going to send a thoroughly charming condolance letter to each of his six children during which I will explain that instead of sending flowers we'll be donating six books that he would have loved to a local church that has a hard time funding its library. I'm going to use really "good" papers, and send the letters over-night mail as soon as I hear that he's actually dead. THAT is a good plan, although it involves writing the letters now so they can go straight to the post-office. I told my husband last night about my plan. Without giving it another thought, he looked over at me and said "Don't pay for over-night. Just mail them now." Let me point out to you that its just WRONG to send condolance letters before the person dies! Sure, we know he's on the brink. And, yes, he wil certainly die within the next ten days. HOWEVER, you do NOT not NOT send condolance letters before they are actually certifiably going-to-be-buried dead! I can't think of enough ways to say that. No! You just don't DO that! I'm sure its because he was raised in Florida. Which we all know is NOT part of the "real" South. I think he just proved THAT beyond a reasonable doubt!


You two crack me up!! The fact that you were worried he'd buy Bagpipe Hymns...I cannot even explian how I laughed at that. Not at you so much as with your husband.

Now the letters, man, that is just WRONG! Hysterical, but WRONG!

BTW, did you read my post about Mystery Russian? You just won't believe it.

Leni | 04/23/2006 - 08:10 PM

My aunt just passed away last week, and you wouldn't believe the stupidity of people at the funeral. I mean, absolute disrespect.
I'm going to let Jennifer blog it, because she tells the story better.
Watch her blog for the details!

Leah | 04/24/2006 - 09:26 PM

I don't know why that link won't work, but for those that don't know, Leah's sister Jennifer run the Knighton blog listed on my sidebar under "Excursions". Its always a fun trip, and about to get funner! Y'al know I love a good funeral story!

Lucy | 04/25/2006 - 03:03 PM
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