Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be. Have you tried to avoid a situation, only to have your attempt at avoidance ignite the very situation you were trying to avoid? For example ...

Lee had the Chicken Pox. He broke out the very first day off from school for Christmas Break. Which means he was cleared to go back to school the first day of class in January. Excellent timing! Yay for me! Except ...

Lee had been picking at this one particular pox on the back of his hand. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe it just got scraped a lot since it was on his right hand. Whatever. NOT contagious. But, still, put some neosporin and a band-aid on it. Can't hurt to keep it clean, right?

So I'm putting on the bandaid and Lee is telling us how very much he's looking forward to telling everyone HE COULD HAVE DIED and its WILDLY CONTAGIOUS and EVERYONE SHOULD LIVE IN FEAR IF HE TOUCHES THEM and ... You see where this was going, right? Full blown panic among administrators and children alike? (I swear, I don't know where he gets the "dramatic" gene!)

I thought I"d nip this in the bud by forbidding the boys, point blank, to talk about having chicken pox. Don't even mention it. Avoid the disruption. Do NOT scare the teacher and other children.

I know that children behave differently when they're away from their parents. I know that. But, mine are different. Sure, they'll push the limits. Sure, they can be a little wilder. But, when you come down to brass-tacks? Mine do NOT disregard a direct and specific order. So I was blind-sided when the call came later that day.

I had been wondering about the details of the classroom Valentine's Day party, so I was expecting the phone call from the secretary. It went something like this ...

Lucy: Hello? Oh HI, I'm glad you called back so quickly.
Secretary (who is a wonderful lady): Ummm ... this is a little awkward ... I need to ask you a question ... I really don't know how to ask ...

Lucy: Just spit it out. Its Ok. Lets hear it.
Secretary: What happened to Lee's hand?

Lucy: WHAT!?! I can't believe it! I TOLD him not to taunt the other children. He's definitely NOT contagious, but I didn't want to upset anyone. People DO have a tendancy to panic. But the doctor said it was OK since he broke out the last day of school. And its just that one spot where he keeps scraping it, so I put neosporin and a bandaid on it, but he's REALLY not contagious, and the vaccine SHOULD protect everyone anyway, right? Which is the POINT of the vaccine? But I can't believe ...
Secretary: So, he had Chicken Pox? Ok. Thats what I needed to know. Its just that one of the teachers reported that he wouldn't talk about it which is a red-flag.

APPARENTLY, a teacher asked Lee what had happened to his hand (band-aid). He looked around, lowered his eyes, and whispered rather conspiratorially, "My mother said I can't talk about it. Its a secret." Red Flag! Red Flag!

So, the teacher took BOTH my boys to the office, kept them in separate rooms, and alerted the administration! Quick as a wink, both boys were being interogated by professionals.

All Ron would say was "My. Mother. Said. Not. To. Talk. About. It." and then not another word! I shudder to think the tone he used. He was crazy-mad because he was pulled out of class during "free" time when they get a start on their home-work. He was truly furious. Absolutely livid that he wasn't going to have time to do his math.

Lee was willing to say more. "My mother said not to talk about it." "Sorry, I can't tell you, Mom said not to" "Mom said it would upset people" "I really can't say anything, Mom wouldn't like it" Can you tell Lee likes words?

Finally, driven to desperation, the secretary called me. Hoping to stop the "crazy" before calling DHS.

Then, she went back to the room with Ron. Trying to get him to talk. She used the magic words! "I called your Mother. She said Lee had had the Chicken-pox?" Lee looked up at her with The Look (I know it well) and said ... "Yes." I can't even begin to explain the absolute venom he's able to convey in one small word.

She went to talk to Lee. "I called your mother. She said you had had the Chicken pox. Did you have any on your neck? Let me see? Ok. Back to class with you."

When I went to pick up the boys after school, both of them got in the car yelling at the same time about assorted injustices in the world. Ron's went something like "having math homework and having math homework and not even HAVING chicken-pox and still having math homework and somehow this was all Lee's fault because RON didn't even HAVE chicken pox!" Lee's went something like "and then I told her and then she took us to the office and then they asked us but we didn't tell and they asked some more and then and then and then" with a totally gleeful dramatic tone. You know, that tone he uses when he's impressed with the drama of the temperature being below freezing. Oh, the potential for an interesting disaster!

Me? I'm desperately trying to embrace my inner peace and serentity, perchance even boredom! Yeah, I know, good luck with that :P


Golly, girl, you actually had me laughing out loud, enough to bring the children running to see what was going on!

That is just too funny for words. Heehee...

Leni | 01/15/2009 - 02:13 PM
Make Waves

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