December 31, 2006
No, Its Not A Cut ...

My brother got my boys (ages 9 and 7) pocket-knives for Christmas. He has a long and illustrious history as a REALLY cool gift-giver.

Christmas morning, Lee (age 7) came to me to get a band-aid. Only moderately alarmed (because I realized that he'd be screaming if he were REALLY hurt) I asked "Is that a cut!?!" to which he responded "No, its not a cut. Its a ..... ummm ... its a BLEEDING SPOT!"

Because we all know that a "cut" will get your new knife taken away, but a "bleeding spot" will get you some sympathy and a band-aid.

December 29, 2006
Sunshine and Satan

Rarely I am shocked at anything in the catalogs I recieve. Mostly because I get normal catalogs, selling things like bundt-pans and sheets. (Not in the same catalog)

So it was with speechless amazement that I stared at page 105 of the January 2007 issue of The Company Store catalog that arrived today. I did a double-take. Sure enough, sunshine yellow sheets and Satan.

December 27, 2006
60 Seconds Post

Not dead. Parents leaving in the morning. In-laws arriving in a few days, with extra child in tow. Fell off the diet-wagon. Actually, waited until the wagon was rolling along the edge of a cliff and jumped! Could be worse. I used a parachute before I hit the canyon floor. Still not moved. LA-LA-LA, I'm in a happy place.

December 15, 2006
At Least He Has A Plan

How do you deal with stress? Think about that. Do you get a little crabbier each day? Do you get insomnia? Do you overeat? Or not eat at all? Or, do you conciously with forethought and glee try to drive your spouse nuts? Because thats my husband's plan. Really. Honestly. He has a plan.

When he's stressed (like building a house, creating a new product at work, AND consulting) my husband finds that he particularly enjoys making me shriek. Really. IT'S HIS PLAN!

December 13, 2006
You're Pregnant! Or Not!

This may be the weirdest post ever. Which is saying something. And I'm too exhausted with moving to make it cute and/or funny. But, this is so bizarre that I really want the experience recorded.

Anyway, a friend felt pregnant. So she took an EPT. Then another EPT. Then a trip to the OBGYN. All the tests came back "pregnant". Except that then she did some math and realized it was physically impossible. Fortunately, her doctor is a "listener". So he did some more complicated tests. And she isn't pregnant. In spite of the 99.7% effective tests she tookWhat are the odds!?! (I'm sure they're huge, but I won't be doing the math for you, this isn't that kind of blog)

Want to know what skewed the tests?

December 04, 2006
The Legend Of Quack-Quack

Once upon a time, I had a nick-name. (No, it wasn't "quack-quack". Wait for it ... ) Actually I had a few nicknames. Really more endearments, or pet names.

My Dad used to call me Petunia. I loved petunias, especially the pink frilly kind. I abhor the orangey-red kind. They just look ... hot and dusty ... which is not a good look for a flower in the hottest heat of Summer in the South.

My husband used to call me ... something ... and occassionally "Sweetie" although NEVER "Honey" or "Babe". Ick. But thats just me. Maybe being called "Babe" makes you happy, and thats ok. For you. But definitely not for me.

Then came Katherine. My husband really-really-really wanted to make her middle-name a varient on ... something ... he calls me because he wanted her name to be connected to mine like the other children's are connected to family. I yielded. In my defense, I was hospitalized and heavily medicated. I don't think he realized at the time that, of course, I would never again want to be called that. And that it would annoy me for years. Probably decades, although that remains to be seen.

December 01, 2006

I've always loved Christmas trees. I'm so very near-sighted and a christmas tree with sparklely lights is one of the few things that is just as beautiful with my glasses off. I love to lie on the ground (or preferably the couch) with my head practically in the tree and look up at the lights. Especially after several cups of Christmas Tea. To me its all about peace and beauty and ... calmmmmm. Glorious calm. And quiet. Which is the very thing that made what happened to my brother so ironic.

Actually, its what happened to my father. Something DONE by my brother, although by the end he had certainly had an experience ...