In case you were wondering ... Its not a good idea to slather your hands in Morning-Glory-hand-sanitizer and then absent-mindedly use your finger to try to dislodge a blackberry seed wedged between your teeth. Gah!

I have a slight fever, part of the sinus infection which is just enough to make me whiny and sleep-deprived. Last night, after a trip to the bathroom for tissue and nose-spray, I laid back on the pillows gingerly ... grateful for the dark and the possibility of an hours sleep before the next trip for tissue and nose-spray. Thats when it happened!

I was attacked by a Tap-dancing Hairless Rat.

There was a lot of flailing and garbled screaming choking sounds. Then there was some giggleling sounds. Those weren't mine. So. At that moment I realized I was being attacked by a little girl.

Well. Maybe "attacked" is the wrong word. See, I was on my husbands side of the bed because it shortens my endless trips for tissue and nose-spray. It was really dark, and Cassie is REALLY quiet, so she crept super-quietly to Daddy's side of the bed to wake him up to get her some milk. She knows to wake Mommy with gentle-but-firm-earthquake-shakes, but she wakes Daddy with crazy-tickle-fingers!

It is ... ill-advised ... to wake Mommy with crazy-tickle-fingers!

Yes, I know that its good for children to have some choices. Yes, I know that sometimes they will get money for their birthday and Christmas. Yes, I KNOW that its important to let them spend their own money as they will so they can learn from the experience.

However.

I also think its good for me to guide them somewhat before they fritter their money away on a DarthVader-voice-altering head-gear that will enable them to find out what it would sound like if DarthVader said "oink". Or, more exactly, if DarthVader performed a relatively true-to-life-pig-sound. Which is more a wierd snorting sound that I can't spell, instead of just saying "oink".

So.

I consider it a victory of no small proportions that instead of THAT, Lee has decided to spend his money on Walker-SeasonTwo. I was so delighted that DarthVader will not be oinking at me from around corners and under tables that I made the effort to find it on sale (two-for-one) so that Lee will actually be getting both seasons Two and Three! An opportunity to teach shopping skills AND an opportunity for lots of fervent hugging. Win-win-win-WIN for me :)

Nothing good is coming when you notice that your 30-something stay-at-home-mommy-friend has started listening to Avril Lavigne. I'm just saying. For those of you that were confused? THAT is a bad sign.

And if she follows it up with black nail-polish? You'll need to be staging an intervention.

Hey, Steve! This is for you. Yeah. You. Steve.

Well, maybe not just Steve. But I know more guys named "Steve" than anything else. Maybe its really for guys named "Steve" and "Bob" and "Bill". Definitely not for guys named "Daisy". (I figure there aren't very many of those) (Can you tell I've been shopping the pre-printed "name" merchandise clearance at Hallmark?)

Anyway. There are things your wife won't tell you. Specifically, there are things she won't tell you but that she'll call and tell me. As her friend, it is my job not to betray her confidences. Or to treasonously offer comfort and-or cookies to the enemy.

BUT ... I feel its in everyone's best interest if all the husbands out there consider the possibility that just maybe its not a good idea to ignore their wives with the idea that you can make it up to them later. They may not be there later. I'm just saying.

And, Steve? This is SO for you :)

Yeah, yeah. I know this is an "island of sanctuary" in an ocean of internet-bitterness. You know what? Its not working for me today. Well. Kinda. I mean, its not like I have any REAL problems. I'm just feeling a little ... whiny. Or, more accurately perhaps a tad psychotic (in a non-clinical sense).

The holiday visits did not go as well as they might have. For the first time, as we refused to travel this year and others schedules were complicated and shifting right until the last moment, we had tons of both family here at the same time. Except for Sam, who fled my mother's impending visit the way some people flee hurricanes. Ironically, she's on a "real" island with palm trees and parrots and a steel-drum-band. I know because she called to tell me she loved me. And that she's sorry its 9-below-0-with-wind-chill here. Then she laughed manically. At least they mailed presents. Sam (and her mother) both have the knack for the "cool" gift. Not expensive, mind you. Just ... right. Each of the kids got a "perfect" gift, very obviously specific per child. The kind of thing that makes you blurt out "Wow, thats exactly what I never knew I've always wanted!" I miss Sam.

I also miss a lot of my stuff. Apparently the passive-agressive-visitors amused themselves by misplacing all the things they could move. And in the kitchen especially, thats a lot of stuff. For example, I have no idea why there's a five-pound sack of flour in the first-aid-box.

I think I'll be feeling better soon. My husband knows that nothing restores order faster than a little pet project for me. So, ever so willing to accomodate me, he mentioned casually the other day "I think I want to have an office holiday party here next year if we can have the house totally finished by then. Seriously." I snapped out of the slump, the bitter agony of defeat at the hands of nervous crazy relatives forgotten already as the lists started solidifying out of thin air! Then, victory! Almost too late, but not quite! Still time to cruise for additional serving pieces buried among the dreck of holiday clearance!

We've decided on a Halloween party. For several reasons. Last year, no one had a Halloween party. Also, we can have the actual party a few weeks early. It'll still be daylight longer, the weather will still be good, and we have a great wrap-around-porch. Besides, it works with the decorating. My entire first floor is taupe. (with black, white, teak accents) so all I need are a few touches of tangerine-orange-silk and I'll be ready to go! Then, how easy is Christmas! Just switch the "orange" for "red" and I'm done!!!!! Ok, and add a tree. I refuse to be one of those people that have a "Halloween Tree"!